The 3 Most Important Things You Get From a Father
“Fathering is not just a ROLE, it is a FOUNDATION.”
People without fathering battle deep insecurity, wrong choices, and uncontrollable habits.
What is a fatherless generation missing?
90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes—32 times the national average.
85% of all children with behavior disorders are from fatherless homes—20 times the average.
85% of all youth in prisons come from fatherless homes—20 times the average.
What is a fatherless child missing?
1. ACCOUNTABILITY: “The power of a daily life coach.”
- I don’t know about you, but I got in trouble every day. I ran off, I lied, I stole, I was disrespectful, I did destructive things at a moment’s notice. In between those things, I was a nice kid!
- My father represented to me the IMMOVABLE OBJECT. He took no bull, calmly “shut me down,” asked me, “Where do you think you are going?” He often applied the “board of education to the seat of higher learning!”
- Without a father (or mother) who will not budge on standards or let a kid get by, a child has no inner accountability and walls. “A man without self control is like a city broken into and left WITHOUT WALLS” (Prov. 25:28)
2. APPRENTICESHIP: "The power of a living example.”
- Throughout history, fathers taught their skills to sons and daughters. Something inside of them told them that they owed it to their children to train them for the time they were no longer around. Fathers, your every move, good or bad, is TRAINING.
- A child learns more in one hour alongside a father than in years of behavior modification. I carefully watched my father mow grass, fix up a home, get sweaty and head off to work. I watched him hold his temper and restrain his emotions. I copied his facial expressions and humor. I learned how to handle life, money, and people from a father.
3. AFFIRMATION: “The power of a pleased mentor.”
- I can still remember 48 years ago when my high school basketball coach stopped an entire practice to compliment a move I made to the basket. I can still remember 47 years ago when my English teacher stopped our class to compliment my writing. Time stood still in that moment. Affirmation is a point in time when you become convinced that you can change the world.
- What if a child never hears those words? What if they hear the opposite: “You will never amount to anything.” What if your identity becomes “Stupid…Failure…Dumb…Weak? Can they ever face life with the courage and bravery of a champion?
“Accountability, apprenticeship, and affirmation.” Three little words but three powerful keys that open all the doors in life.
If you are a father (or single mother), be sure that each of your children gets all three things. Give them the internal security they crave.
Remember: “We can change our world…one young life at a time.”