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These 7 Powerful Questions WILL Improve Your Marriage

These 7 Powerful Questions WILL Improve Your Marriage

How’s it going in your marriage?  Are you drifting?  Losing ground?  Fearful of your future together? 

We all love to evaluate.  Here are seven questions written by noted scholar W.W. Wiersbe (with my comments under them) that have really helped me with my marriage:

1.  “Are we partners or competitors?”

  • Selfishness makes us competitors.  We struggle for the most private time, most resources, most vacation decisions, better car, etc.!

  • Partnership makes us work together.  Start planning together.  Synergize.  Combine your talents to become a force in the world.  Quit chewing away at each other until there is very little left of you.  Apologize.  Strategize.  Make your goals and reach your goals…together.

2.  “Are we helping each other become more spiritual?”

  • Marriage is “Christ in the center.”  My Dad always said, “If you get your vertical relationship with God correct, your horizontal (marriage) relationships will work out automatically.”

  • Pray together at least once a day, even if it’s the last few moments of the day!  Make church and small groups a priority.  Talk about what you read daily in Scripture.  Above all, forgive each other when your life is anything but Christlike.

3.  “Are we depending on the externals or the eternals?”

  • Money, houses, furniture, and vehicles are not eternal.  Keeping up with the Jones’ will drive you crazy.  It’s artificial.

  • Serving together, growing together, and raising good children together is eternal.  It’s the “why” behind the “what.”  It’s a purpose.  It’s real. 

God made marriage to make the best version of you. 

4.  “Do we understand each other better?”

  • Listening and empathy take time.  Turn off your phones, put the kids to bed, and take turns talking (no interruption).  Receiving feedback of how you are doing as a partner is not personal, it is precious.  A good date night every week will go a long way toward growing continually in your understanding of your spouse’s fears, dreams, hurts, and challenges.

5.  “Are we sensitive to each other’s feelings and ideas, or taking each other for granted?”

  • One of my sons keeps a “gratitude journal” and Wednesday is his day for “gratitude for his wife.”  She even asks to read it some Wednesdays! 

  • My father-in-law found himself widowed at 57 and often eating out alone.  He watched couples fight at their table in the restaurant and he wanted to go pull up a chair and say, “Please…don’t take each other for granted.”

6.  “Are we seeing God answer our prayers?”

  • We know there are multiple reasons for unanswered prayers.  One of them, however, might be that Peter said if a couple fails to honor each other “their prayers will be hindered” (1 Pet. 3:7). 

  • I believe in the power of multiplication and synergy.  Two people…in unity…praying together…in faith…focusing on one situation, will have an incredible track record of answered prayer!

7.  “Are we enriched because of our marriage…or robbing each other of God’s blessing?”

God made marriage to make the best version of you.  You will be richer, smarter, happier, and healthier if you walk together in God’s unity and blessing!


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