Family is life changing and this is how you harness the power of it
It’s obvious I have a big family: six children and my nineteenth grandchild soon to be born.
If you would have ever told Melanie and me when we were missionaries in Africa that we would end up with this family, I would have said you are CRAZY!
Now, we are watching our children change the world.
There are principles that help guide that family into powerful impact.
Here are the principles we have used to harness the power of a family:
Kids don’t raise themselves.
I notice a trend in today’s parenting: “benign neglect.” It chooses not to notice the needs of a child or take responsibility for them. “Love ‘em and leave ‘em.”
Get off your cell phone. Turn off the endless video entertainment while you surf. The distraction of social media is raising a generation of unobserved, unloved, and untrained children.
If you are endlessly trying to figure out where to “place” your children so you can be free for whatever, you are probably not going to like the outcome.
2. Kids will test your authority.
A child who never hears, “No” will always probe for the limits of “Yes.”
“No” is a complete sentence. Bribing, candy and ice cream to buy compliance is postponing the inevitable. Someone is going to have to stand up to the little tyke and let him sense an authority outside of himself.
That “someone” is YOU (not his teacher, his coach, or his nanny). God has given you the authority, and the most secure children are those who know who is in charge.
3. Kids crave attention.
There is nothing more pitiful to me than watching a child say, “Watch this” to their parent 100 times. They have learned that they have to do theatrics to get a parent to pay attention to them.
What happened to outside ball playing? To art projects on the island? To going to their ball games? To family night tickle-fests? To camping and fishing trips?
Start pouring the attention down that black hole inside of each child and you will strangely see their behavior change.
4. Kids need to make decisions.
Stop making every decision for them (often called “hovering”). A huge part of their success as an adult is the confidence they can make a decision.
Insecurity is prolonged when they have to check in with you about every frog they pick up. Encourage them to not fear the unknown but to assess danger themselves.
Start turning them into intelligent adults their entire life.
5. Kids need destiny.
We told our kids their entire lives that they were going to be great leaders. They grew up with a sense of destiny.
TELL THEM what you believe they can become. Speak the blessing over them continually. Angry, overbearing, harsh parenting never produces positive citizens.
There is a powerful force in family, and God wants you to enjoy the blessing of it your entire life!
