How many times do couples fight per year? A British insurance survey said 2,455 (that’s 7 per day!).
Out of 28 sources of fights, I picked out 10:
1. Not listening: 112
2. Overspending and money: 109
3. Laziness: 105
4. Driving too fast: 91
5. Dirty house: 90
6. Disciplining (or spoiling) children: 88
7. When to have sex: 87
8. Who should cook: 79
9. Not answering your phone: 76
10. Not saying “I love you”: 69
Here is a thought or two about how to avoid these major annoyances:
1. Learn to listen
- Discipline your mind not to wander when you are in the presence of your spouse. Look at them when they speak. Quit chasing mental rabbits and solving problems while they are discussing anything at all. (HERE is a full blog on this one subject.)
2. Get control of your money
- Budgets, savings, retirement, and insurance are a pretty good place to start. Making that happen is a different issue.
- Get “Financial Peace University” by Dave Ramsey. For more help, read THIS.
3. Get busy at home
- I understand wanting to relax and plop down when you get home from a hard day. The problem is a mindset that "home" is a couch.
- Be proactive in knocking out home maintenance. Set a day, get a list, start at the top. Honey will get happy.
4. Slow down on the road
- Leave enough time to get where you are going 15 minutes early.
- Set your cruise control. I have a friend who lost his license with too many tickets and his wife had to drive him everywhere he went. Think about it.
5. Organize and clean the house
- Divide and conquer. You do some jobs and your spouse do others. Kids can even help (if you have the steel to enforce it!). Check out this blog on “order.”
6. Learn the secrets of child discipline
- Authority is not authoritarianism. It is boundaries and consequences. Read about how to discipline children HERE.
7. Respect your partner’s sexual pace
- Paul said that our bodies belong to each other. Without a healthy, normal sexual pace you open yourself up to temptation.
- Discuss it. Agree on it. Prioritize it. Most of all, MEAN IT.
8. Learn your “roles and expectations”
- In the British survey above, the issue of “who should cook” (79) was right next to “getting in the way in the kitchen!” (82). Roles in the home are critical. Over-communicate about what is expected of each partner.
9. Answer your phone…when your spouse is calling
- Everybody’s phone dies. No one hears every call. The problem is when you ignore your spouse’s call. By the way, turn it off when you are together. You don’t need it to communicate then!
10. Say “I love you” every day
- A Swedish couple was riding down the road. “Sweetheart,” the wife said, “why don’t we sit next to each other in the car like we used to? The husband replied, “Who moved?”
- We all drift from intimacy. Practice daily intimacy. Long hugs, warm kisses, voicing your love and attraction…EVERY DAY.
You can see the entire article on the British survey HERE.
Everyone has a “row” occasionally…just don’t say you never know why.